How to look after your mental health while using social media

We all know that social media holds a mix of benefits and drawbacks, especially when it comes to our mental health. After looking at the findings from other’s studies, I’ve reached the conclusion that it ultimately comes down to how we use it. For those in the LGBTQ community who aren’t out and/or don’t have supportive people in their daily life, social media sites, groups and forums can offer much needed access to other people who understand and can provide opportunities for support and friendship. I talk to lots of people who tell me that they engaged with online content in one way, shape or form before they ever actually spoke with someone in person about LGBTQ things or found the courage to attend an LGBTQ event like Pride or socials/meetups. Through things like social media, we can feel less isolated and alone. It can help us feel like there is genuinely a space we can exist in which, psychologically speaking, is valuable.

So when social media can be such a positive factor for us and, frankly, of high importance for our coping, how can we mitigate or avoid the drawbacks that are associated with regular use?

1. Take a short break every now and then

A recent study has found that taking a short break (ie a week off) from social media was enough to positively affect the mental health of daily users. Taking just a week off from their social media accounts was enough to improve ratings of anxiety, depression and wellbeing. This means that you can still be active on social media getting that sense of community, inclusion etc while also tapping into the psychological benefits of not using it when you need to - it is not all or nothing! This does require you to check in with yourself and your mental health every so often so you can identify when taking a short break would be a good move. You can ask people in your trusted, inner circle to gently suggest taking a break when they can see you’re struggling as well if you are finding checking in with yourself a bit of a challenge.

2. Curate your feed

As I said at the beginning of this article, social media’s impact on you is largely influenced by how you use it. So it’s vital to look at who you follow and honestly evaluate whether their content helps you or simply adds to the crap you deal with in life. This is not an intellectual exercise. This needs to be guided by your emotions and how you react to the things in your feed. If you notice a knot in your stomach or a sinking feeling when you see someone’s posts, this is a sign that you need to consider unfollowing them - this is not the same as unfriending, so you can still be friends but not follow them. On the other hand, if you notice that certain types of posts leave you feeling optimistic, content, connected to others etc, then this is a sign that you may be best served by seeking out more of that kind of content. This is not about creating an echo chamber and is all about creating a space that supports your mental health.

3. Don’t read the comments

I know that this can be one of the hardest things to follow. Especially when we are all encouraged to engage by commenting. The limitless number of clickbait-y captions, titles etc are designed to rile you up one way or the other and, unfortunately, outrage is one of the most elicited emotions from clickbait-y posts. Because many people don’t bother reading beyond the clickbait-y part, the comments will always contain something off, false or even more outrage inducing. Disappointingly and gut-wrenchingly, LGBTQ people and issues are often the subject of such posts. I routinely tell myself “Don’t read the comments” and, when I follow my own advice, it really does pay off. The less outrage, anger, despair, fear, anxiety and stress I experience while I’m scrolling on social media, the better my day is. Give it a try and see if it works for you too.

4. Stay present 

This is my favourite item from this list because it has benefits in other areas of life, it is not just specific to social media. Staying present when you are with people at meal times, for drinks, in social situations, as you are engaging with your hobbies and while you are working has huge benefits for your mental health. But what do I mean by this? Well, I mean giving your full care and attention to what’s in front of you. If you are scrolling while doing something else, neither are getting your full attention and you are not staying present with anything. So, scroll on social media when you are not doing anything else. At mealtimes, focus on the experience of your meal, including the experience of sharing a meal with others if you are not alone. If you are working on a task at work, keep your focus on that rather than punctuating it with scrolling. There are free apps like Forest which can help you to stay present with what you have in front of you by acting as reminders when you pick up your phone to access apps etc. 

5. Use other methods for regulating your emotions as well

The ability of social media to connect us with other people who can help us to regulate our emotions (a form of co-regulation) is brilliant. However, you are doing yourself a disservice if this is the only way you know how to process and balance your emotions. Many of our problems in the LGBTQ community are worsened by having limited ways of handling feelings and emotions. Think about things like depression, anxiety, stress, self harm, suicidal thoughts. All of these involve a degree of strong emotion or emotional numbing and not knowing how to deal with things. If your only way of managing your emotions is social media, what do you do if your internet is down? Or when everyone is offline? I do a lot of work with people to improve their knowledge of and familiarity with their emotions. This serves a great purpose because it then opens the possibility for learning more ways to manage them. 

These five pointers all highlight ways you can more positively use social media for the benefit of your mental health while still remaining connected to the support that it opens up for you. Let me know what helps you. Is there a particularly uplifting social media account you follow? Or do you have a social media boundary which could help others too? I’d love to hear your tips :)